7:10 am: Outside the pool, Alex, Wendy (my sister) and I wait for Ashton so I can get a few photos. His hair still wet, bleached by chlorine and standing on end, Ashton looks just like his dad at 15 years. After a few shots I make arrangements to meet Alex at his office at 8:30.

Wendy is somewhat awestruck while being a spectator to this process. Although she swims in the same Masters program as Alex, she had not met him before this project. During breakfast with Wendy, I apologized to her for putting her in the position of dealing with our father’s suicide on my terms. When I first told her about Alex being part of the book/project, she asked “What will people think of him? How is he with this?” It was clear to me that these were questions for herself, not Alex…for this she deserved my apology because I truly believe that we all have to deal with these issues on our own terms.