Please join Friends of Emmet at a benefit concert in Ottawa in support of suicide awareness on September 10, 2010 at The Bronson Centre. Tickets available through Ticketmaster. Tickets $17.50 each.

Also, I have been invited by the Canadian Mental Health Association, Ottawa Branch and the Suicide Prevention Coalition to present the Collateral Damage Project at their Annual Awareness Breakfast.  My presentation will take place on the morning of September 10th. See the poster below for more information. For tickets and more information please call (613) 737-7791.

Please forward the link to this post to all of your friends and family in the Ottawa area.

Not talking about it isn’t working.

After a long stretch of cloudy days do you ever get the feeling that you might never see blue sky again? How do you feel when you finally see the clouds begin to break and blue sky pops through the clouds? That’s the feeling that I want to share through the Collateral Damage Project. Perhaps today is grey and gloomy but somehow we need to know that blue sky is there and that we can be OK. Not that we are OK…but just to know that we can be OK.

Please join us in the Collateral Damage Project and help change the colour of suicide for those of us that are left behind.

Not talking about it isn’t working.

The Collateral Damage Project is in the process of becoming incorporated as a registered not-for-profit and we are hoping to have charitable status within a few months.

When I started out with the idea of photographing those who have lost loved ones to suicide I could not have anticipated how powerful the response would be. From the first invitation to participate on June 16, 2009, the requests to participate keep coming in at an incredible rate. By inviting people to join in the dialogue on suicide, we have created a tide that I believe is unstoppable.

After spending a week in Nova Scotia, I realized that this is the way that the Collateral Damage Project must move forward. We did media releases inviting Nova Scotians to participate in the project and with the help of various media outlets we were able to get the message out. The message was two fold; invite people to participate in the project and  “Not talking about it isn’t working”. The response was immediate, reaching and effective. This is now the example of how I want to approach all provinces and territories in Canada as well as areas throughout the United States.

It has become clear that Collateral Damage is much more than a “project”. Our initial mandate was to create a dialogue on suicide through images of those left behind. I don’t think we could have anticipated how powerful that statement was. Although the Communities Addressing Suicide Together conference was my first keynote address, I continue to get bookings and inquiries to speak to many groups including; Faculty of Nursing at Lakehead University, Confederation College Paramedics, London and District Distress Centre, Teachers, Lawyers, Dentists and Childrens Aid. If you are interested in having me speak to your group, organization or conference please feel free to contact me.

By becoming incorporated as a not-for-profit we will not only be able to apply for government funding but we will also be able to ensure absolute transparency to any individuals who are wishing to personally support the work of the Collateral Damage Project.

Donations to the Collateral damage Project can be made by going to the CONTRIBUTE page or by contacting me directly at scott@leftbehindbysuicide.org. Also, if your group, foundation or organization would like to learn about ways to fund raise for the Collateral Damage Project please feel free to contact me directly.

Thank you to Michael Strickland and Buset & Partners LLP who have done all the work in incorporating the Collateral damage Project as a not-for-profit.

Thank you for your support and remember, Not talking about it isn’t working…Join us as we begin the dialogue.

This past weekend my two sons worked on videos for Children’s Mental Health Ontario “Change the View” campaign to help bring awareness to youth mental health issues. Please feel free to leave your comments.

I arrived in Halifax on Tuesday (March 23) afternoon to an overcast and rainy welcome. Like most Canadians, Nova Scotians like talking about the weather… “you should have been here last week, it was hot and sunny”. This was a phrase that I was going to have to get used to.

After getting my rental car, complete with GPS that guided me to my hotel, I was quickly making last minute arrangements to meet with people who had come forward to be a part of the Collateral Damage Project. During my time in Nova Scotia I met with more than twenty people and the following is a little of the dialogue that was created.
Martha, who lost her father to suicide had written to me with a need to let other survivors know that they are not alone as they try to find their way through the confusion and loneliness that stigma brings. That night Martha and I met to talk about her Dad and how she is finding ways through education to move forward. Even though it was a blustery evening we were able to get some photographs.

The next morning I had breakfast with Angela Davis of the Nova Scotia division of Canadian Mental Health Association who is also the coordinator of the provincial Communities Addressing Suicide Together (CAST) provincial conference as well as the national conference in October of this year as well. Angela and I met last October at the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention (CASP) Conference where I presented the Collateral Damage Project and I was then invited to do an exhibition at this years National Conference in Halifax. Angela is passionate about working to help communities in Nova Scotia build their capacity to address suicide. She has also been instrumental in bringing the Collateral Damage Project…and me, to Nova Scotia through the CAST and CASP conferences.

The next few days were filled with coordinating meetings, conversations and photographs. I wish I had time to meet everyone personally but with the response so overwhelming, that was just not possible. I really didn’t have time to truly take in the beauty of Nova Scotia but I certainly did learn that Nova Scotians have hearts of gold and treated me like I was a long lost relative. Perhaps with a last name like Chisholm that makes sense, especially around Antigonish.

As the days went by I also had to finish up final preparations for my keynote Address for the CAST conference. At times, I found myself overwhelmed with creating an outline as there is so much to talk about and so many stories to share. The one thing that always comes clear is that “Not talking about it isn’t working”. When we share our stories and invite other to do the same we begin a dialogue that seems was never allowed. Its empowering to witness conversations begin and know that they will continue with family, friends and coworkers in a way that will truly enable healing.

The CAST conference was on Friday and my day began early with an interview at 7:45am on CTV’s Breakfast Television with Jayson Baxter. It was funny, as I met the anchor who does the weather report he said, “you should have been here last week, it was hot and sunny”. The interview went well and right after we headed to the conference centre for Communities Addressing Suicide Together. Although I was nervous, after all it was my first keynote address, the message that I was bringing was clear…Not talking about it isn’t working. Collateral Damage postcards were handed out to all delegates with instructions to address the card to themselves. On the card, everyone was challenged to write down what they are going to do after the conference to continue the dialogue with friends and family. I started with the introduction video and then continued with where the project began and how it was building into something that I believe is going to introduce the faces of those left behind by suicide. The true momentum with the Collateral Damage Project is the community that is coming together and inviting others to do their part in continuing the dialogue. Although my keynote address was only an hour, I was busy the whole day talking with survivors and professionals alike about their personal stories of loss to suicide and what we are going to do to create and continue the dialogue. I was especially touched by people who had traveled to meet with me and hear my keynote address. So as the day began early it ended late and I was physically and emotionally exhausted from a day that will continue to shape the Collateral Damage Project. Thank you to everyone who attended the CAST conference and made the commitment to continue the dialogue.

Saturday morning I met Veronica Bernard for breakfast and had an incredible conversation about her loss of her 3 brothers to suicide and the work that she is doing in Eskasoni as a Mental Health Worker. She spoke of the issues of suicide that plague her community that are consistent with the suicide epidemic that is ravaging First Nation communities across Canada. Sometimes I find myself in conversations that I feel so privileged to be a part of. I am learning about a culture that has been on my backdoor for my entire life yet for some reason I know little about it. To find solutions we need to learn about the people. Whether its in our own families or with the Fist Nations… we have so much to learn and accept. Without knowledge, acceptance and dialogue we will remain ignorant and we will continue to lose our loved ones to suicide at an alarming rate.

Saturday afternoon was quite familiar for me. Jen had contacted me after reading the Collateral Damage article in The Chronicle Herald and shared her story that was similar to my own. We have both lost our fathers to suicide and we were about the same age at the time. When Jen and I first talked on the phone she wanted to have her brother and her mom come together for the photograph. Although I liked the idea, I made it clear that I believe we all take our own unique path in healing from our loss to suicide, especially within the same family. As I arrived at the house, Jen’s brother was outside which gave us an opportunity to talk. He seemed defensive and a little unsure of me so I encouraged him to participate only if he truly wanted to do so. “Don’t do this for your sister or your mom”. I believe that this is when he began to feel like he was part of the project, when it was truly his choice to do so. We continued into the house for snacks and an incredible family conversation at the dinner table. Again, I felt honoured to be a part of this dialogue that was open, honest and difficult at the same time. From there we did some family photographs that I know came together because of the Collateral damage Project. Not talking about it wasn’t working for Jen’s family and hopefully this was just the beginning.

I had one more stop to make and that was in Bridgewater, about an hour outside of Dartmouth. Although it was getting late and I didn’t think I would get any photographs done I knew how important it was for Gail and I to talk. It really is about the dialogue and there is great comfort in knowing were not alone, even though our stories can be quite different.

Sunday morning I made an appointment with Amber in Kentville. Amber had emailed me to share her story of losing her beautiful 14year old daughter to suicide in 2007. As I was getting ready to head out on the drive to Kentville, I realized how physically and emotionally exhausted I was, but I also knew how much Amber was looking forward to us meeting. I pulled the car over and called Amber to let her know how I was feeling and that I wanted to postpone our meeting until I return again in October. I certainly didn’t want to just go through the motions and although she was disappointed, she also understood my commitment to do this right.

It was finally a sunny day in Halifax so I did what I love to do most…I went for a walk with my camera to photograph the world around me. So I did get to see a little of Halifax but I also know that I will be back in October and I have been promised sunny and warm weather.

Halifax Harbour from Dartmouth

Thank you to Angela Davis and the Nova Scotia Branch of Canadian Mental Health Association for making my visit to Nova Scotia possible. We’ll see you again in October.

I was invited by Don Benedict to talk about the Collateral Damage project with the first and second year Paramedic Students at Confederation College in Thunder Bay.

First of all…thank you to all of the students who came out. I’m not sure what you were expecting but I trust that you came away with some “tools” that will be useful in the field. Most of all, do not be afraid to talk with the families and friends who have lost loved ones to suicide. This is really your opportunity to help in way that perhaps you never imagined.

After watching the introduction video and giving an overview of the project to date, a student put her hand up, “what was it like going to your first suicide call?”. I don’t actually remember my “first” call but I do remember that as I responded to suicide calls  much of my attention was directed at those left behind.

Now when you think about the topic of suicide and Paramedics you might think that this is one group whose curriculum would include training and awareness about dealing with such difficult situations. Oddly, training in suicide awareness or even including suicide calls in their scenarios is minimal or often absent. I challenged Don create scenarios for the students that included suicide and I encouraged to further their professional development by taking a LivingWorks ASIST or Safe Talk course as soon as they have the opportunity.

Thank you again for giving me this opportunity continuing the dialogue with Paramedic students.

Not talking about it isn’t working.

There was once a time that you could not use the word “cancer”, in fear of getting the dreadful disease, now we use it to sell toilet paper. We were once afraid to talk to our children about sex in fear that there would be pregnant teenagers everywhere. We thought that by talking to our kids about drugs would turn them into pot heads. We learned to make pacts with our teenagers to call us, no questions asked, when they were drinking and needed a ride home.

So, now its time. Time to talk about suicide. If not with your kids, start with your friends and co-workers. Because not talking about it isn’t working.

I have been invited to be the keynote speaker at the Communities Addressing Suicide Together Coalition (CAST) Conference that will be held March 26 in Shearwater Nova Scotia. This is your opportunity to learn about activities to address suicide taking place across Nova Scotia including; prevention, intervention and postvention initiatives.

For more information and to register please contact; Angela Davis at 1-877-466-6606

As well as attending the conference I will also take the opportunity to photograph survivors of suicide from across Nova Scotia who have come forward to participate in the Collateral Damage project. I met Angela Davis, Coordinator, CAST, at the 2009 Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention (CASP) conference in Brandon Manitoba. It was there that she expressed interest in bringing the Collateral Damage project to Nova Scotia.

I’m looking forward to the CAST conference and continuing the dialogue on suicide.

If you live in Nova Scotia and wish to participate in the Collateral Damage project, please go to the “Participate” page and forward your information.

We took a well deserved family trip to Punta Cana a few weeks ago and I made a point of leaving my phone and laptop tucked away except for one rainy afternoon. In the short time that my phone was on I received a text that read “it was a tough day for me today and I came dangerously close to packing it in… but there’s no damn way I’m going to let my kids be in your book… thank you”.

Not only does dialogue stop the stigma, it also saves lives. Please continue the dialogue on suicide. It’s working.

In meeting Kellie I was also able to get to know a great young Canadian artist that lost his life to suicide while battling his bi-polar disorder.
Leslie Harvey’s attention to the smallest of details came out in every piece of his art. Not just that the finished dimensions were small but that they were painted with a single hair brush is what struck me the most… perhaps somewhat because my youngest son has always drawn the smallest of characters with the sharpest of pencils. In contrast though was his “self portrait”, a painting of his finger print enlarged to about 12″ x 18″ in meticulous detail, again painted with a single hair brush. Kellie showed me this painting after we talked about the size of foot prints that we leave behind.
Leslie loved to write and often to Kellie and their two daughters. I photographed Kellie as she read his words. Words written in letters that were full of love and life when his mental health issues separated him from those that he loved most.
I arrived in the morning after the girls were at school and when Kellie mentioned that they were sad that they weren’t going to be able to meet me I agreed to return after 3:30. After school we sat at the dining room table enjoying the homemade treats that were made for my visit and sharing a conversation that was made comfortable knowing that I too had lost my father to suicide. This comfort reminded me of the importance of presenting images in the Collateral Damage project of how we are moving forward after such a difficult and complicated loss to suicide. There was a comforting sense of unity in our mutual loss of our fathers to suicide. The comfort comes from understanding and truly seeing that we are not alone as sometimes the overwhelming social stigma will have us believe.

Dialogue really does change everything.